I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell

Tucker Max is a bad, bad, man. He goes through his twenties whoring, drinking, and being an overall reprehensible character.  His book, I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell, is a roller coaster ride into the mind of a “real” affluent WASP. The stories are broken into short chapters, making the book a breeze to read.

As I read this, I alternately put it down not only to laugh, but to wipe tears of laughter away, and occasionally hyperventilate (from laughing so hard).

An excerpt when Tucker goes out with a breathalyzer to impress his friends:

9:42: Hot girl #2 is into me. She begins telling me a story about how she got pulled over once for DUI, and had to blow into something like this, and the cop let her off. She tells me that she always wanted to be a cop, but couldn’t pass the entrance exam to the police academy, even though she took it twice. I tell her that she must be really smart. She stops paying attention to me. Hot girl #2 is apparently smart enough to detect thinly veiled sarcasm.

10:04: The novelty of the portable breathalyzer has passed. The table has moved on. I am no longer the center of attention. I am not happy with my table.

And later in the night…

12:18: I blow a .20. I AM A GOD. The sushi bar erupts. Men are applauding me. Girls are pining for me. Everyone wants to talk to me. I forgive them their flaws, as they are all paying attention to me.
Now, not every story goes like this, but you get an idea of Max’s writing style, attitude, and humor. The personal intro on his website is hilarious:

My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole.

I get excessively drunk at inappropriate times, disregard social norms, indulge every whim, ignore the consequences of my actions, mock idiots and posers, sleep with more women than is safe or reasonable, and just generally act like a raging dickhead.

Warning: this book is not for the faint of heart. You will most likely be offended if female. If I had picked this book up a few years ago, I would have been disgusted. But, male humor has rubbed off on me (that’s what happens when the man you’re dating has three brothers..guess who the book was from.) and I loved it. Best of all, I learned from Tucker-(aside from the whoring and drinking) to be who I am, do what I want to do, and not be ashamed of it.

One occasion comes to mind when I had posted a book review on Amazon (I hated Breaking Dawn, sue me) and someone had written something rather nasty. Now, it wasn’t that bad but being new to the whole thing and fairly excited about each and every comment, that one knocked the breath right out of me! In that moment as my heart slowed and my stomach flip-flopped, I thought “What would Tucker do?” and began laughing at the comment instead. I forwarded the link to friends so that we could properly enjoy its vacant idiocy. Now, if I had gone a step further, I might have acted like Tucker did in his response to midget hate mail, which appears at the end of the midget story, but I didn’t want to get booted off of Amazon.

In conclusion-Tucker touched my life. Find a copy of his book so that you too can be exposed to some of the most hysterically funny, deplorable literature that exists today.