Pride & Prejudice & Zombies

Well, the title says it all, doesn’t it? Pride & Prejudice & Zombies is Jane Austen’s classic novel tossed with zombies. I would definitely recommend it to open minded Jane Austen fans (I would think it would make more sense if you read the zombie-less version first), but that’s not to say that only Jane Austen fans should read it.

The world as the Bennets know has already been plagued with the undead for many years, and Mr. Bennet has gone through great pains to ensure that his daughters are “brides of death” with severe Shaolin discipline and training. While Mr. Bennet is perfectly content with this arrangement, Mrs. Bennett simply wants to see her daughters as brides. Minus the death.

Seth-Grahame Smith maintains Austen’s voice and stays true to practically all the dialogue, except when he throws in ninja fights and hordes of undead. And for the most part, it works. At first it’s fairly obvious that Grahame-Smith has stitched dialogue onto Austen’s, but as the book progresses, it becomes more seamless. After all, it’s not meant to be foisted as a “higher level” of literature–it’s about zombies!

However fun and lighthearted the book may be, there were a few things that I do have to complain about.

First, I am fairly certain Elizabeth is a sociopath. While she has been schooled in martial arts, she doesn’t seem to have much of a conscience. At one point upon first meeting Darcy she considers beheading him, and a later scene she spars with Lady Catherine’s ninjas (I thought sparring meant NOT killing?) and disembowels a ninja and STRANGLES him with his own colon. She goes even further to take a bite out of a still beating heart she has pulled out of another ninja. WHHAAAA?? I would think, given that the current “plague” makes zombies eat people, that it would be pretty suspicious, or at least looked down upon to be feasting on human flesh.

Finally, my last little nitpick–one of the added “prejudices” between the Bennets and upper crust Mr. Darcy/Lady Catherine is that the Bennets are schooled in the Shaolin way in China, rather than in Japan. This is mentioned several times as a source of disagreement, yet the Bennets have a DOJO. Yes, a japanese dojo. I don’t know where Shaolin monks are supposed to train, but I sure as hell know it’s not a japanese dojo. This particular mashing of two very different cultures really irritated me–it leads to ignorance. Not all Asians are the same, Mr. Smith! I would think a group of beta readers or at least an editor would have caught that one.

Minor things aside, Pride & Prejudice & Zombies is a fun ride through England (with Satan’s Army). The characters have new twists that make them all the more exciting–the elderly dowager Lady Catherine is one of the best known female zombie-killers to date, Charlotte succumbs to Mr. Collins’ charms due to herself succumbing to the plague, and Mr. Wickham has new grievances against Mr. Darcy.

Some pre-zombie Austen quotes:

“I hope my dear,” said Mr. Bennet to his wife as they were at breakfast the next morning, “that you have ordered a good dinner to-day, because I have reason to expect an addition to our family party.”

“Who do you mean, my dear? I know of nobody that is coming, I am sure, unless Charlotte Lucas should happen to call in, and I hope my dinners are good enough for her. I do not believe she often sees such at home.”

And of course, this classic conversation:

Do you play and sing, Miss Bennet?”

“A little.”

“Oh! then — some time or other we shall be happy to hear you. Our instrument is a capital one, probably superior to — — You shall try it some day. Do your sisters play and sing?”

“One of them does.”

“Why did not you all learn? You ought all to have learned. The Miss Webbs all play, and their father has not so good an income as yours. Do you draw?”

“No, not at all.”

“What, none of you?”

“Not one.”

“That is very strange. But I suppose you had no opportunity. Your mother should have taken you to town every spring for the benefit of masters.”

“My mother would have had no objection, but my father hates London.”

“Has your governess left you?”

“We never had any governess.”

“No governess! How was that possible? Five daughters brought up at home without a governess! I never heard of such a thing. Your mother must have been quite a slave to your education.”

Elizabeth could hardly help smiling as she assured her that had not been the case.

And with Seth-Grahame Smith’s lovely twists:

“I hope my dear,” said Mr. Bennet to his wife as they were at breakfast the next morning, “that you have ordered a good dinner to-day, because I have reason to expect an addition to our family party.”

“Who do you mean, my dear? I know of nobody that is coming, I am sure, unless Charlotte Lucas should happen to call in, since she is an unmarried woman of seven-and-twenty, and as such should expect little more than a crust of bread washed down with a cup of loneliness.”

And:

“Mr. Collins tells me that you are schooled in the deadly arts, Miss Bennet.”

“I am, though not to half the level of proficiency your Ladyship has attained.”

“Oh! Then — some time or other I shall be happy to see you spar with one of my ninjas. Are you sisters likewise trained?”

“They are.”

“I assume you were schooled in Japan?”

“No, your ladyship. In China.”

“China? Are those monks still selling their clumsy kung fu to the English? I take it you mean Shaolin?”

“Yes, your ladyship; under Master Liu.”

“Well, I suppose you had no opportunity. Had your father more means, he should have taken you to Kyoto.”

“My mother would have had no objection, but my father hates Japan.”

“Have your ninjas left you?”

“We never had any ninjas.”

“No ninjas! How was that possible? Five daughters brought up at home without any ninjas! I never heard of such a thing. Your mother must have been quite a slave to your safety.”

Elizabeth could hardly stop smiling as she assured her that had not been the case.

I’m a little partial to the first excerpt because Mrs. Bennet is such a character already (and because she reminds me of my own dear mother), yet Smith manages to take her one step further. A fun read for the person looking for a break from their usual genre.